Silence
by DarlingDearestDeadForever
Summary: “Wasn’t it enough? The gifts, the devotions of love, the time -3 years, 3 whole years-, the effort? Wasn’t it all good enough?” He asked, his voice breaking at the last few words. “I’m sorry, Syaoran. I’m really, really so sorry.” She cried.
1. Original Ending

Silence

Author's Note: This is an ONESHOT. The following chapter is an alternate ending and NOT A CONTINUATION.

This is just a story that popped into my head and I really couldn't get it to leave once it got stuck there, just take it as a peace offering for not updating my other stories for so long, haha.

_Italics- Syaoran's thoughts_

Disclaimer: Characters belong to CLAMP

* * *

Li Syaoran's eyes flew open as his handphone began to ring.

He groaned as he sat up, cursing as he groped for his handphone on the bedside table. Before he answered the call, he checked the time. 3.47am.

_Whoever the fuck is calling me must be blood crazy because –_

His thoughts came to a screeching halt as he saw the caller ID.

He pressed the answer button and put the device to his ears, "Sakura." He said emotionlessly.

Silence.

There is an intake of breath on the other line before Syaoran heard her stutter "Syaor- I…uh, Li."

Syaoran closed his, ignoring the sudden ache in his chest that suddenly appeared once he heard her say his **surname**.

"What is it, Sakura? You do know that it's 3.50 am in the morning right?" He replied, making an effort to sound irritated, this time ignoring how that ache in his chest lessened the moment he uttered **her name**.

Silence.

"Well?" He demanded.

"It- It's tomorrow." He heard her whisper.

He froze, a turbulent wave of anger and grief drowned him, rendering him speechless.

"Syaoran?" He heard her ask, relishing the concern in her voice.

_No Syaoran, you idiot. You can't._

"What are you talking about?" He asked, suddenly so tired.

"The wedding! The fucking wedding!" She shouted over the phone.

He winced as he realized that she was crying.

"I know, Sakura! I'm attending it! We're attending it!" he shouted right back.

_How can she do this to me?_

He eyed the time, 4.03am. He groaned.

"Sakura if you don't say anything, I swear I'll hang-

"I can't do it, Syaoran! I'm sorry. I just can't!" She sobbed, panic evident in her voice.

Immediately, Syaoran's chest constricted, suffocating him. She said his name, his** name**.

"Sakura." Pain etched in his voice.

Her cries grew louder.

"You- you can't just bail out on us! We- all of us, we all waited so long for this!" His voice grew desperate.

"I know! Don't you think I know that by now? 3 years, that's how long everyone waited for this, for tomorrow." She screamed. He cringed as he heard something shatter in the background.

"If I…If I continue with this, what will you do?" She heard him ask when he didn't say anything.

"You can't – I can't answer that." He choked.

"What, Syaoran? What? Will you ignore me? Will you suddenly be all formal with me even though we've known each other our whole lives? Will you pretend like you don't know me? Will you-

"STOP, Sakura. Just stop!" He shouted, on his feet.

He thanked God for her keeping quiet, because hopefully it means that she stopped crying.

He sank back down to his bed, sorrow engulfing him.

"Wasn't it enough? The gifts, the devotions of love, the time -3 years, 3 whole years-, the effort? Wasn't it all good enough?" He asked, his voice breaking at the last few words.

"I'm sorry, Syaoran. I'm really, really so sorry." She cried.

"We'll just end up hurting each other, Sakura. Please! Please, don't do this." He begged.

"I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering 'What if I just followed my heart?' Syaoran! I WON'T SURVIVE with that kind of regret!"

"But- But he loves you." He said helplessly, hoping it would work.

"I know. God, I know! But I love **you**, Syaoran! YOU, not him!" she sobbed.

He took the handphone away from his ear, not bearing to hear her cry again.

_Fuck. Fuck this! I can't believe I'm doing this._

"We can't, Sakura. I can't. I'm married. And you're going to be married tomorrow!" He said fiercely, bring the device back to his ears.

"Why?" She asked helplessly.

"What?" He asked.

"Why won't you fight for me? For us?"

Silence.

"You're the one who- 5 years ago." He choked, biting back his tears.

"I did it for us, Syaoran! I asked you wait but you-

"1 year. I heard nothing from you for **1 whole year**! What did you expect? My mother- she told me no to waste my life." He replied coldly.

"I- I…" He heard her stop, "I can see this was a mistake. I'm sorry, Syaor- Li…I meant Li." She finished.

He tried to ignore the sudden comeback of the pain in his chest, and how she sounded like she was trying hard not to cry.

"Look, Sakura, I will always l-," he stopped short.

_Don't do it, you idiot. You'll only make it harder for her…for you both._

He sighed angrily for calming down, "How's Eriol? Is he having wedding jitters yet?" He joked.

He tried hard not to shiver when he heard her laugh softly.

"He hasn't come back home from work yet…maybe he ran for it." She played along.

_See? This is how you're supposed to be, friendly. Just acquaintances. Nothing more, nothing less._

"Is he treating you alright?" he blurted.

Across the line, Sakura smiled sadly, noticing the tinge of possessiveness in his voice. "Yes. How about you? Tomoyo must have whipped you into shape by now, 3 years is no joke." She teased.

He chuckled, hearing the playful tone in her voice.

_How long has it been since they were like this?_

"Syaoran?" She asked, concerned when he didn't reply.

Syaoran replayed how she said his name about a thousand times before he spoke, "Tomoyo's still at work too."

Neither of them spoke for a while. Syaoran eyed the time, 4.41am. They'd been talking for almost an hour, in just 12 hours, his life will be changed forever.

"Sakura… It's getting late, you should sleep. Tomorrow's a big day for you." He said warmly, trying to sound happy.

There was silence before she spoke. 'Syaoran, I lo-

"No, Sakura. We both know it's wrong." He said with finality.

The next silence stretched longer than the rest, it was a silence they both knew too well. It was the same silence that they relished in, **all those years ago back when they were**, when they just stared into each other's eyes. It was the same silence when Syaoran told Sakura that he got married when she came back after being gone for a whole year. Now, the very same silence was the last chapter for them. Because the past should always remain the past and that silence was the last shovel of dirt that would bury **them** forever.

"Bye…Li." Her voice sounded so weak.

_Yes. This is how it's supposed to end, distant… God, how did we end up like this? We were supposed to be TOGETHER!_

Syaoran breathed in deeply, steadying himself for what he was about to do. It would be his unraveling, his complete destruction.

"Bye, Sakura." As he said those words, he thanked God for making heartbreak silent, because he would just die if he could hear how he broke her heart a 2nd time, and he would kill himself if she ever heard his heart break a 2nd time...because of her.

_What the hell happened to us, Sakura? _His mind begged him to ask. But he didn't. For once, his conscience was wrong.

And he knew, as she hung up and he heard the monotonous tone afterwards, that even if his heart was still pounding in his chest, even if blood was still coursing through his veins, he wasn't alive.

* * *

The next chapter is NOT A CONTINUATION!!!! I won't post it until this one has been online for a few days. I'll let this ending –this version- sink in first before I post the alternate ending.

DarlingDearestDeadForever


	2. Alternate ending version 1

Silence- Chapter 2, 1st version of alternate ending

Author's Note: This is the 1st version of the alternate ending. The main difference is the last few lines but other than that it's the same as original. I'm posting the 2nd version of the alternate ending as a separate story because it's a two-shot(most likely) and it would be too confusing if I put it all up here.

_Italics- Syaoran's thoughts_

Disclaimer: Characters belong to CLAMP

* * *

Li Syaoran's eyes flew open as his handphone began to ring.

He groaned as he sat up, cursing as he groped for his handphone on the bedside table. Before he answered the call, he checked the time. 3.47am.

_Whoever the fuck is calling me must be blood crazy because –_

His thoughts came to a screeching halt as he saw the caller ID.

He pressed the answer button and put the device to his ears, "Sakura." He said emotionlessly.

Silence.

There is an intake of breath on the other line before Syaoran heard her stutter "Syaor- I…uh, Li."

Syaoran closed his, ignoring the sudden ache in his chest that suddenly appeared once he heard her say his **surname**.

"What is it, Sakura? You do know that it's 3.50 am in the morning right?" He replied, making an effort to sound irritated, this time ignoring how that ache in his chest lessened the moment he uttered **her name**.

Silence.

"Well?" He demanded.

"It- It's tomorrow." He heard her whisper.

He froze, a turbulent wave of anger and grief drowned him, rendering him speechless.

"Syaoran?" He heard her ask, relishing the concern in her voice.

_No Syaoran, you idiot. You can't._

"What are you talking about?" He asked, suddenly so tired.

"The wedding! The fucking wedding!" She shouted over the phone.

He winced as he realized that she was crying.

"I know, Sakura! I'm attending it! We're attending it!" he shouted right back.

_How can she do this to me?_

He eyed the time, 4.03am. He groaned.

"Sakura if you don't say anything, I swear I'll hang-

"I can't do it, Syaoran! I'm sorry. I just can't!" She sobbed, panic evident in her voice.

Immediately, Syaoran's chest constricted, suffocating him. She said his name, his** name**.

"Sakura." Pain etched in his voice.

Her cries grew louder.

"You- you can't just bail out on us! We- all of us, we all waited so long for this!" His voice grew desperate.

"I know! Don't you think I know that by now? 3 years, that's how long everyone waited for this, for tomorrow." She screamed. He cringed as he heard something shatter in the background.

"If I…If I continue with this, what will you do?" She heard him ask when he didn't say anything.

"You can't – I can't answer that." He choked.

"What, Syaoran? What? Will you ignore me? Will you suddenly be all formal with me even though we've known each other our whole lives? Will you pretend like you don't know me? Will you-

"STOP, Sakura. Just stop!" He shouted, on his feet.

He thanked God for her keeping quiet, because hopefully it means that she stopped crying.

He sank back down to his bed, sorrow engulfing him.

"Wasn't it enough? The gifts, the devotions of love, the time -3 years, 3 whole years-, the effort? Wasn't it all good enough?" He asked, his voice breaking at the last few words.

"I'm sorry, Syaoran. I'm really, really so sorry." She cried.

"We'll just end up hurting each other, Sakura. Please! Please, don't do this." He begged.

"I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering 'What if I just followed my heart?' Syaoran! I WON'T SURVIVE with that kind of regret!"

"But- But he loves you." He said helplessly, hoping it would work.

"I know. God, I know! But I love **you**, Syaoran! YOU, not him!" she sobbed.

He took the handphone away from his ear, not bearing to hear her cry again.

_Fuck. Fuck this! I can't believe I'm doing this._

"We can't, Sakura. I can't. I'm married. And you're going to be married tomorrow!" He said fiercely, bring the device back to his ears.

"Why?" She asked helplessly.

"What?" He asked.

"Why won't you fight for me? For us?"

Silence.

"You're the one who- 5 years ago." He choked, biting back his tears.

"I did it for us, Syaoran! I asked you wait but you-

"1 year. I heard nothing from you for **1 whole year**! What did you expect? My mother- she told me no to waste my life." He replied coldly.

"I- I…" He heard her stop, "I can see this was a mistake. I'm sorry, Syaor- Li…I meant Li." She finished.

He tried to ignore the sudden comeback of the pain in his chest, and how she sounded like she was trying hard not to cry.

"Look, Sakura, I will always l-," he stopped short.

_Don't do it, you idiot. You'll only make it harder for her…for you both._

He sighed angrily for calming down, "How's Eriol? Is he having wedding jitters yet?" He joked.

He tried hard not to shiver when he heard her laugh softly.

"He hasn't come back home from work yet…maybe he ran for it." She played along.

_See? This is how you're supposed to be, friendly. Just acquaintances. Nothing more, nothing less._

"Is he treating you alright?" he blurted.

Across the line, Sakura smiled sadly, noticing the tinge of possessiveness in his voice. "Yes. How about you? Tomoyo must have whipped you into shape by now, 3 years is no joke." She teased.

He chuckled, hearing the playful tone in her voice.

_How long has it been since they were like this?_

"Syaoran?" She asked, concerned when he didn't reply.

Syaoran replayed how she said his name about a thousand times before he spoke, "Tomoyo's still at work too."

Neither of them spoke for a while. Syaoran eyed the time, 4.41am. They'd been talking for almost an hour, in just 12 hours, his life will be changed forever.

"Sakura… It's getting late, you should sleep. Tomorrow's a big day for you." He said warmly, trying to sound happy.

There was silence before she spoke. 'Syaoran, I lo-

"No, Sakura. We both know it's wrong." He said with finality.

The next silence stretched longer than the rest, it was a silence they both knew too well. It was the same silence that they relished in, **all those years ago back when they were**, when they just stared into each other's eyes. It was the same silence when Syaoran told Sakura that he got married when she came back after being gone for a whole year. Now, the very same silence was the last chapter for them. Because the past should always remain the past and that silence was the last shovel of dirt that would bury **them** forever.

"Bye…Li." Her voice sounded so weak.

_Yes. This is how it's supposed to end, distant… God, how the hell did we end up like this? We were supposed to be TOGETHER, damnit!_

Syaoran breathed in deeply, steadying himself for what he was about to do. It would be his unraveling, his complete destruction, and an ultimate betrayal to everything he has built for the past 3 years.

"Run away with me."

* * *

This NOT A CONTINUATION!!!!

DarlingDearestDeadForever


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